Plus one

One baby girl, coming right up!
SECOND STEELE GIRL EXPECTED JANUARY 2016

Nate and I are really excited--and still can't really believe it, to be honest--that we're having another baby in January. I still feel like Eleanor is a baby in many ways. And having two girls under two for the first half of next year is going to be quite the party, I'm sure, and thankfully I have the best support system I could ask for. Nate has been so patient with the woes of pregnancy while parenting this time around, and while the morning sickness has subsided at this point (15 weeks), the fatigue is REAL, you guys. It's like I got hit by a train sometimes. But never fear, Nate walks me to bed every single night when I fall asleep on the couch watching Jimmy Fallon, but not before he puts away whatever snacks I was eating during our couples ritual of enjoying comedy every night before bed. If you'd told me on my wedding day how much this small action would change my life, I probably wouldn't have listened. But it's true. I don't know how people manage pregnancy on their own.

Being pregnant the second time around doesn't feel as real somehow. I still forget sometimes that I'm going to be having another baby, and that that baby is in my belly right now. And is the size of a lemon. And arriving in six months.

We are happy as clams. Some days are really, really hard, but we fall into bed each night feeling glad we are who we are and happy that our future is bright.

Any tips or advice on how to get one's house clean when one's to-do list is a mile long and one's baby is very on-the-move... are desperately needed.

The Ninth/ Tenth Month Truth

May was easily the hardest month of my life.

I was enormous.

I was wildly uncomfortable.

I was wildly hormonal.

**Disclaimer. This post includes some frank realities about pregnancy. If you do not have a strong stomach, skip to the end.**

My size was easily the thing that made May hard. It was really hard to feel self-conscious about my body 24/7. I did that to myself, because I could have thought about other things other than my appearance. But it was tough for me because everyone I made eye contact with commented on how huge my belly was. Rightfully so, because it was very very big. I mean, I was housing a baby who turned out to be eight and a half pounds as well as a very hefty placenta and lot of fluids. And fat. I got fat. Because I was starving, and the foods that sounded good to me were full of fat. More on that once I've lost the fat and can think straight about it and what I'll do next time. 

The discomfort level I experienced in the month of May might have been normal, but I had never heard about it before, so it felt astronomical to me. I had been having back pain for several weeks (months?) prior, and that worsened slowly, but I got used to it. One of the hardest things was that my skin was stretched so tight that I felt like I would literally split open, and in some places I did. My stretch marks practically groaned. My skin was just crawling all the time. The best way to describe it was that I felt trapped. I just got so, so big, my belly had nowhere to go but straight out. The other thing that was really hard was the damage to my downstairs. I had a yeast infection as well as stage-five hemorrhoids, and while I think I could have probably handled one or the other, having both at the same time was torture. Especially the hemorrhoids. If you get them, you can call me and I'll tell you what my doctor prescribed. 

As for the hormones, I was just about as emotional as your standard pregnant woman, but the thing that put me over the edge usually was people telling me things like "just go for a walk, you'll feel way better," (Really? Cuz I can't really walk without my undercarriage searing with pain. I can barely sit. Walking will not help.) or "trust me, you'd rather have the baby in than out" (Would I? No. I would not). I definitely will have a thicker skin developed next time around. I also found that it was impossible for me to fall asleep some nights, because all I could do was worry about all the things in my life that need to be worried about (ie bills, will I be a good mom, why am I still pregnant, etc). At the very end, I truly had to count sheep in order to fall asleep because I would get so worked up thinking about the future and how we would possibly be able to do it. 

Going eight days over my due date was the most discouraging thing. I had a false alarm thinking my water broke about a week before my due date... I can't even hardly write about that. But I just felt like I had failed. Maybe that's melodramatic, but it just felt like, this is the thing my body was designed to do, literally. And I can't do it, so I'm going to have to have chemicals pumped into my body (and my baby's body) in order to do the thing I've been preparing to do for nine months. It was heartbreaking and very very frustrating. I was more disappointed in myself than I had ever been.

I know some women love pregnancy. (My mom is one of them!) I certainly loved many, many moments of my pregnancy. Those moments are precious to me and I will cherish them every day of Eleanor's life. But the long and short of it is that I had a really hard time with it, and that surprised me. Gaining 60 pounds really took its toll and the emotional aspect that came along with that is something I'm still figuring out weeks later.

Hopefully my experience will help somebody else's be a little easier, if only because misery loves company. But I think happiness loves company, too. And the story of June 3 is one of the happiest I'll ever tell.

And for the record, she was totally, completely, 1000% worth it. I would do it all again for her. I love her so.

My sweet baby enjoying her lunch.

How to "Survive" Pregnancy According to One Novice

I have decided to write a summary of answers to questions that a few friends and strangers have asked me about my pregnancy. Consider this the
Alex Steele Survival Guide to the weirdest thing I've ever done. This guide is what I would have loved to read on Day One of my pregnancy, so it's written to myself. If you don't like it, that's okay, because it's not written to you. It's written to me. (But I hope you like it because I think it's very good.)

First trimester:

- If you feel like you're starving every day for 6 weeks, that could be a sign you're pregnant, so the test is right. Believe the test.
- Prepare to barf or be nauseous. Most people are. If you're one of the lucky ones who evades the nausea, like my mother, enjoy a steak and rejoice in your blessed digestive system.
I tried all the remedies out there. You will try anything if you're desperate enough, trust me. There are zillions of things that people say miiiighht cure you, but most of them didn't cure me. The only things that helped me (and they didn't make me fell 100%, but they did help me be functional) were:

• Ginger ale and saltines. the crappy cheapo kind of saltines made of bleached enriched flour and salt. Not the buttery kind or organic kind. The cheapo kind. And whatever ginger ale you like. I prefer strong stuff, like ginger beer, but Canada Dry usually did the trick for the most part. This was essentially the only food I ate for several weeks, and my baby now, some 30 weeks later, is giant, so don't worry that she's not getting nutrients. Somehow she is. Also, don't take your prenatals. They are making you sicker. Women had babies for thousands of years before prenatal vitamins existed, so don't worry too much about not taking them and don't let people guilt trip you about it. You know your own body best.
• Lemonheads. A nurse at my practice mentioned this one while sucking a gallon of blood out of my arm and I was actually pretty surprised by it so I decided to try it out. I don't know what it is about them, but Lemonheads did help a little.
• Wearing a Prima Bella bracelet. A friend lent hers to me and it was really helpful, especially along with the Diclegis (see below). I am the type of person who HATES taking medicine if there is anything I can do to avoid it, so I was thrilled she shared her band with me. I recommend it if you're going on a boat/plane/etc. Or if you like homeopathy/ not putting chemicals in your body.
• Diclegis. Some people I love and trust recommended Zofran, which worked okay, but it kind of took a major toll on my body, and just felt too strong for me.  Lots of baby blog commenters recommended a B-12 and half a Unisom, which didn't do anything for me except make me grumpy. My doctor had some free samples of Diclegis and it worked like a charm. Took it for about 18 weeks.
• Breathing exercises. I just googled some that told me how to count and my breaths and alternate between using my mouth and nose to inhale vs. exhale.
• Laying on the couch.

- Bring a granola bar with you EVERYWHERE you go. You never know when you'll need to eat a bite, even if you've been feeling sick and have no appetite. You will be amazed at how your body 'talks' to you. You could be walking down the street and all of a sudden you will just KNOW you have to sit down immediately. You just have to. Or you will be driving and know you're going to throw up. So you just pull over and throw up. (Goodbye, dignity! I'll miss you!) Do not leave home without food or some plan to obtain food while you're out. Because when your body tells you to do something, you just do it.

Second trimester:
- If you haven't already, start a baby journal. I'm so glad I have been writing stuff down since day one. But the second trimester is when I really started gaining more weight and it's interesting to look back and see what I was feeling/ doing.
- You will feel and look bigger at nighttime, usually.
- Start eating whatever you want now that you can keep it down! Not that you weren't already planning on doing this. Do not be alarmed if you see yourself eating as much as or more than Nate. Growingababy.
- Buy bigger clothes.
- Expect to start forgetting things the second they enter your head. It's weird and I was sure it wouldn't happen to me but it did. And it's annoying. I try to write everything down now. Everything.
- Read a lot. It's interesting to read what other people have to say. Obviously there are some lunatics out there but reading people's personal stories/blogs/etc. helps you feel more normal sometimes. And yes, What to Expect When You're Expecting will be your trusty BFF. I also like reading articles on BabyCenter and checking baby's growth/progress on the iPhone app Sprout.
- COCONUT OIL. USE IT. Alright. I am a FIRM believer that coconut oil prevents stretch marks. I'll tell you why. Not only have I read lots about it and met women (witch doctors?) in Fiji who swear by it, but I have proven it via my own skin that it works. It WORKS. Here's how I know. As soon as my belly started to really show, like around Christmas when I couldn't wear ANY non-maternity shirts anymore, I started rubbing coconut oil on my belly. I did it about once a week. (Now I'm at week 35 and I do it every time I am getting in the shower, which I started doing in third trimester.) I would rub it on and let it sit for about 30 minutes, then swipe it all off really well with a towel and shower off the next morning. And guess what. No stretch marks. BUT one day around week 28, guess who discovered dozens and dozens of stretch marks--dark, grumpy, purple ones--covering her entire butt. This girl. SHOULDA PUT COCONUT OIL ON THERE, LADY. Lesson learned.
- Buy bigger clothes.
- Walk and exercise as much as possible. It gets harder. I didn't have the energy mentally or physically to be very active in my first trimester, and even though I was feeling pretty round in my second trimester, I am glad I gave my muscles a little extra use to help prep me for my third trimester when they essentially would become jelly.
- You will be hungry 15 minutes after eating a large meal. You will become one of those people who orders an appetizer, entree, and dessert and asks for a bite of whatever your husband is eating. Prepare accordingly.
- Buy bigger clothes.
- Take your time at ultrasounds. You won't get very many (I only got three from my doctor, and one from a place who told me the gender at week 18), and I wish I had spent a few more minutes at each one, because it's pretty cool to see your tiny baby in there. And bring your baby daddy with you!
- Read to your baby. It's fun. And studies say it makes them smarter. It certainly can't make them dumber.
- Don't do anything drastic to your hair. You'll miss your old hair and want it back, even if your old hair was stupid.
-Buy. bigger. clothes. If you are trying to fit into normal clothes, whether to save money or 'look cuter,' you will be miserable. It's a terrible idea. Just buy bigger clothes and be happy. You're going to get huge.
(I recommend a few staples: a belly band (Target), maternity leggings (Target), regular leggings, some basic t shirts (Gap, Target), bigger bra (I went from a 32A to a 34C, yikes), dresses from Asos, anything from Asos really, good finds at Topshop, and most of all, Hue jeans! They're the best thing in. the. world. Amazon $40. Totally worth it.)



Third trimester:
- Prepare to stop sleeping.
- You will now run into EVERYTHING. And you will be clumsy. And awkward. And you will have no balance. It will frustrate you. See below about surrendering abs.
- Expect to wake up approximately twice every night to pee.
- Prepare to surrender your ab muscles entirely. Learn to use legs, arms, and husband as replacement for abs.
- Your skin will get extremely itchy at night and you will be extremely uncomfortable because of it. The only way to relieve it is to strip down to bra and underwear and sleep on a super soft blanket.
- One of the coolest things ever is feeling the baby move around. One of the cutest things ever is seeing her dad light up when she "high fives" him.
- Heartburn really sucks. Buy heartburn medicine. Prevacid has seemed to be okay? But there's probably something better out there. Once I run out I'm going to try something else.
- If you don't like your doctor, switch. Best thing I ever did. My doctor was very knowledgeable, but I had a few problems with her. First, she made me feel like I was kind of an idiot. She didn't really answer my questions very well, and she would kind of brush off my concerns as if they were silly. And maybe they were, but for heaven's sake I'm 23 and doing this for the first time and my mom lives 2,000 miles away and please just tell me "Good question! Here's how you should feel about that." Second, she would consistently take an hour or more before I got to see her, not apologize for being late, and then spend about 6 minutes with me and make me flustered so that I couldn't remember the questions I had prepared (see pregnant brain, above). Third, she passive-aggressively told me I was gaining too much weight. Sorry, ma'am, I too wish I could stop eating so much, but I'm STARVING. Lay off.
- Mentally prepare for strangers to stare at you, really stare and talk about you at full volume as you walk past. Also prepare for people who don't know much about pregnancy (ie your little brothers, your doorman, the Elders at church, the bus driver, etc.) to feel confident in pointing out to you how large you are. These people may try to convince you that you must be farther along than you are (oh, wouldn't it be nice if they were right!), and they will seriously and intently question you about whether you are sure of the number of babies you are storing in your belly. (Just smile.)
- Buy some pretty lingerie. It's the only thing that helps.
- Make out a lot. That helps too.
- Write down all the things that happen. Your doctor will ask you about them, and it's good to know the answers as specifically as possible.
- Braxton Hicks are real and they hurt. If you feel the surface of your bump get really hard and tight and painful, that is a Braxton Hicks and it will be back.
- If you feel like something is wrong, you might be wrong, but it's better for the doctor to tell you for sure that you're wrong than to sit there freaking out that you might be right and something really is going wrong. So call your doctor and go in, even if you think "They're going to tell me everything's fine." Let them tell you. That's why you have a doctor.
- Weird things will happen to your body. All kinds of weird things. Just accept that they're happening and don't worry about them.
- Buy the stroller and car seat on Craigslist. (Instead of paying $1120 retail we paid $450.)
- Baby won't feel like she's floating and occasionally kicking/ punching you anymore. She will feel like she is taking up every square inch of room in there and every movement is like a bowling ball sliding on ice.
- Embrace the fact that you kind of waddle now.
- It's okay to not feel that pretty all the time. That's life. Don't let it bother you.
- Everyone else you see is going to look amazing and you'll feel like they only gained weight on their belly, and they'll talk about how they don't know why people bother buying maternity pants because they still fit into their jeans and you'll want to punch them. You'll see women who post about being 30 weeks along who look like they just swallowed a very large grape, and you'll think how sucky it is that you're so massive and how is it humanly possible for them to be so skinny still. Well. To that I say, go back and look at photos of yourself the last several months. You'll laugh when you look at them and remember thinking how giant you felt. Because you were smaller than you are now, back then. If only you had known that you would be hiding a basketball under your shirt very very soon! And you start to believe you actually don't look that big sometimes. (HAHA) And who cares if you get giant. You're going to be a mom. You're a woman and pregnancy 100% takes over your body and there's no fighting it, no matter how annoyingly cute Olivia Wilde looks on the red carpet at 31 weeks (jerk). Also remember that all those people who look so cute probably have a slightly bigger shopping budget than you because your shopping budget is zero. It's kind of amazing that your body is able to grow a human being, and it actually takes a lot of skill. Be proud of the scars and marks that your body is taking on. You've never had to be humbled by physical imperfection before and this is a good lesson in not being so vain.

I'm not going to have my birth photographed (except some by my mother), but I will write my birth story here sometime.

Hopefully some of my experiences will help somebody somewhere someday. I'll make Nate write the boy version in another post.

Can't wait to meet this little lady. She's worth all of it.

(This picture sneakily hides some of how big my belly is. But not really.)

Ten week countdown and some photos

Today I am 30 weeks along. Baby girl is doing well, according to doctor. Here are some stats.
Current weight: 144 lbs
Weight gained: 35 lbs
Belly: 31 cm
Baby: breech, but wiggling
Symptoms: heart burn, muscle cramping, fatigue, sore back
Favorite things: seeing baby move, Nate reading to baby, thinking of names
Favorite foods: green smoothies (go to is spinach+coconut milk+mango), nutella toast, tomato basil soup, Girl scout cookies, spinach salads, giant burgers (veggie of course) with all the trimmings
General attitude: I'm excited to get my body back. I'll miss feeling baby girl moving in my belly and I'll miss having her with me every minute. I can't believe I'm going to be a mom, and I can't believe there's going to be another person here. That I have to take care of. Still so much to do to get her room ready (but thrilled to be moved in to our new place!). Dying for it to warm up so I can start going to the beach.

Below are a few of my favorite photos from my Instagram lately. Also, I've got a new personal project coming up that I'm so excited about. Two words: disposable cam. Can't wait to share it next week.

One of these days I'll get Nate to contribute something here. He's the writer, after all. For heaven's sake.

Balloon

Feeling like a full fledged blimp these days. I don't know how I'm going to go three more months. Mom bought me a new dress and top from Asos so that helps. But it's just WEIRD to get giant. It just is. Seeing myself naked makes me laugh out loud almost every time. That or cry.

Today I am 25 weeks along and at the beginning of my sixth month. Still having back pain. Skin goes through phases of being awful and perfect (makes every morning an adventure), face is very round, people tell me how big I look/ constantly stare at my stomach. Liz forced me to take a selfie the other day. Sigh.

22 weeks

At church last week. All the pregnants! (in order of due dates. I'm last by a month. 23 weeks)

 

Stork parking = my favorite! 24 weeks.

At church this week. 24 weeks.

Yesterday. 25 weeks.

Besides being pregnant, some stuff that's happening:
- hanging out at Mom and Dad's while Nate is on production in LA for Nintendo commercial
- really excited to test out my new RX67 with polaroid back-- look for portraits of Nate soon
- found an apartment! Moving on March 1 and can't wait to design the new space
- taught Dad about instagram -- hilarious
- six months til Sarahdactyl gets home!
- really excited for wedding season. Wanting to do a big fat floral shoot REALLY bad. Winter blues much?


And also, I have to comment on a couple of articles I've seen regarding being young and married and a woman. I must say that everyone is entitled to an opinion, including me. While I understand the perspective that you're giving up a lot of stuff when you get married at age 20 and pregnant at age 23, I certainly have not suffered from such events occurring so early in my life.

Haven't suffered, but have sacrificed. I gave up finishing college before becoming a mom in order to accommodate my husband's career. I have never lived alone (I've never even had my own room, actually) or abroad or in a studio or anything like that. I've never worked a 9-5 job. There's a lot of stuff I would be doing right now if I were single. But I am also doing a lot of stuff that I want to be doing. Like owning my own business, growing a human, traveling the world with my best friend, creating a home with my best friend, living downtown in a giant city with my best friend. I don't want to be alone. I knew I didn't want to be alone ever again when I met Nate, and because we are two reasonable humans, we decided before we got married that we want to live enriching lives and not be weird recluses who do nothing. So, to those who think that your wedding is the last day of living wildly, trying new things, taking spontaneous trips, making stupid mistakes, going on adventures, figuring out who you are, being romantic, and YOLOing, maybe you're right, to some people. But not to me. I picked a person--and that person picked a person--who wants to do it all together.

Polar Vortex 2.0

It's below zero here and I hate it. I'm escaping to CA soon while Nate's on production.

We've been on the hunt for a two-bedroom apartment downtown and it's been something of a trick. A few great places have slipped through our fingers, but that's the way it goes in Chicago. We will miss our tiny little one bedroom but I'm excited to have some space for baby girl.

Baby girl is getting big. Aka I'm getting big. It's been smooth sailing for the past couple of months; my sickness went away almost entirely right before the holidays, and I have had essentially no nausea since then, though I did get really sick at the end of a very turbulent plane ride and semi-violent landing... It was really embarrassing and I cried and some nice old dad gave me a hankie and took me to the American Airlines fancy member lounge to wash off and calm down. God bless good samaritans. This month, the main struggles I've dealt with are the searing back pain at night, not being able to zip up my coat, and congestion which leads to snoring which wakes us both up. Very glam.

When I went to Fiji in 2009, I learned about the amazing power of coconut oil and all the good it can do for your skin. My aunt is also a life and wellness coach and she uses coconut oil for everything, from cooking to sunscreen, and she recommended I use it on my face as a moisturizer once a week. I have been rubbing it on my belly to prevent stretch marks. The other night (well, I guess this photo was taken about a week ago) I suddenly burst into tears because my back hurt in my desk chair, so Nate gallantly moved my monitor onto the floor so I could work with my legs stretched out. Here's how awesome I am. (Also, how do people do this without husbands? There's literally no way I could manage.)

Today I'm 23.5 weeks along, almost to the beginning of my sixth month. Baby girl is due four months from yesterday. I still can't figure out how the math works for pregnancy. Common knowledge = 9 months of pregnancy. Doctor knowledge = 40 weeks of pregnancy. One month = 4 weeks, thus 40 weeks = 10 months. Not 9. How is this possible.

While it's still just the two of us, we've really been enjoying hanging out together and doing things like watching Seinfeld reruns while sharing a gallon of ice cream, going to our favorite restaurants even if it's 10:00, going to the movies, walking around the city pretending we're not freezing, and generally doing things we think baby girl might not want to do with us.

I have also gained almost 20 pounds since week one. I'm a little nervous because my doctor wants my weight gain to stay right around 30 pounds, so that my recovery is easier, mostly, but also so that I have an easier delivery. Usually I end up walking about two miles a day, but since the snow started, I have been going on the treadmill in my building and it's a little tougher to motivate myself to go down there while people judge me for eating almonds while I'm on the treadmill. Sorry, but when I get hungry, I have to eat. It's my life. There is no waiting til later. Just ask the baby.

beginning-- by a

My mom gave me the great idea of starting a "baby journal" and writing down a little bit about what's happening in here every day. This isn't as detailed as that, but I want to share a few thoughts. Here's why.

One thing I've been really grateful for is people's willingness to share their stories about birth and pregnancy on their personal blogs. While I know everyone is totally different and certainly doesn't share every detail online, it's been a real help to me to be able to read about others' experience to kind of help prep myself for what I'm doing/ about to do. So, in the spirit of paying it forward, and hopefully being able to help someone else, some details. Disclaimer: if pregnancy doesn't interest you/ grosses you out, stop reading.

We found out we were expecting on September 19. I had been exceptionally hungry for a few weeks and couldn't put my finger on why. Normally that doesn't happen until winter starts :) so I texted my mom and asked if she thought I could be pregnant. She pointed out that if I were pregnant, it would mean that my body was duplicating billions of cells so it would make sense to be hungry. I had kind of convinced myself that I was going to be pregnant! So we decided to buy a pregnancy test on the way home from somewhere, and as soon as we were a few blocks from the pharmacy, I told myself, "There's no way you're pregnant. It's not going to happen this time." (I've taken a couple pregnancy tests before because I'm crazy.) And I really wish I hadn't told myself it wasn't, because when I took the test when we got home I was kind of 100% shocked. I set it on the counter and waited the three minutes, and Nate came in and sat on the floor with me while we waited. My timer went off and he grabbed the test off the counter before I could and stared at it. I snatched it and stared at it and said "NO. THERE'S NO WAY." and thereupon freaked out. Kind of totally lost it. I had never been so shocked! I kind of started crying and after about 20 minutes I called my mom and told her. She and my dad were so so happy--their first grandchild! It took a bit for me to relax but then Nate and I just kind of sat on the couch and looked at each other. We talked for an hour or two and decided to call Nate's parents the next day. I also told my grandma right away and she has been my biggest cheerleader--her first great-grandchild! (The support from our family and friends and even strangers has been such a cherry on top. We're so lucky.)

A few weeks later we told our families and they were of course over the moon. It was really fun to tell them, especially my younger siblings who were all jumping up and down about being aunts and uncles. My youngest brother, who's nine, still calls every week and asks, "So, Alex, how big is the baby now??" (It went from the size of a lentil to the size of a grape very slowly for him.)

When we found out, I was five weeks along, and at six weeks I started throwing up every day. Up until about 14 weeks I was throwing up every single day at least once a day and experiencing nausea essentially all day long. Maybe I'm just a softy but it was hard being that sick. And my mom had all seven of us without a stretch mark or a sick day so I was a bit disillusioned. And at the beginning certainly very surprised/ stumped about why I was experiencing so much morning sickness (though Nate almost killed his poor mother, so no doubting this baby will take after him in lots of ways). I got prescribed Diclegis at 11 weeks which helped immensely. Also the saltines and ginger ale were more than just an old wives' tale, they were the only thing I could keep down some days. And almond milk was a life saver after throwing up to help get rid of the awful taste in my mouth. I know a lot of people have it way worse than I did, and even sitting/dying on the floor in the bathroom, all I could think about was what a privilege it is and how lucky I am to have an indicator that my baby is growing. And how incredibly lucky I am to be married to the father of my baby. Not to mention that he's willing to do everything from rub my back in the middle of the night to getting me a glass of water and pack of saltines to meeting me at the OB on his lunch break to "see" baby. Nathan has been absolutely superhuman--I can't imagine what I did to deserve such a caring partner. 

I'm 15 weeks along right now and feeling medium good/ great. It changes daily but mainly I am having a lot less nausea and a lot more fatigue, which is perfectly okay with me. The newest thing, which started about a week ago, is that at night time my abs/sides feel really sore, like I just did two hundred sit-ups, and the only way to get comfy is to slouch way down on the couch and hold onto my belly. It's pretty hilarious looking. Also I get way bigger at night time. This week is really the first week I've actually looked pregnant when I wake up in the morning. Also, the hunger. Oh my gosh the hunger. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced. And it's been going on pretty much the whole first trimester, off and on depending on the nausea. If I don't eat every hour... actually I don't even know because I am just usually eating. It's amazing how much I am able to listen to my body now that it's constantly telling me exactly what I need right this second! Time to eat carbs. Time for a drink. Time to sit down even though you're on the corner of Wabash and Lake and there's no place to sit down. Time to barf even though you're in a cab to the airport and the driver doesn't really feel like pulling over. Time for a nap even though you had one two hours ago. Maybe I don't know him very well yet but little guy is decisive. (I have a bit of a bad habit naming stuff (furniture, clothes, our car) and referring to it as "he," so sorry if you're a girl, baby, but Mom has been calling you "him" for a couple of months now.)

I was 110 when I found out I was pregnant and lost 7 pounds by the time I was ten weeks. I've now gained it all back and am at about 116, which is a relief because I was worried about not gaining enough the first few weeks. Luckily I've more than made up for it with alllll the cheese and french bread my little heart could want. I started to get a bump about four weeks ago that only I really noticed, and about three weeks ago it was really showing to people who know me. Now I can't button my pants and I've had to start buying some new pieces of clothing/ borrowing Nate's. I'm trying really hard to only buy clothes that I can wear after I'm pregnant since maternity clothes are so expensive to me (and also still don't really fit very well?).

Nate absolutely loves ultrasounds. Even hearing and seeing the little guy's heartbeat flickering at the doctor, it's still kind of hard to believe I'm actually pregnant. It hasn't sunk it, to be honest. The book says that that's normal for a while, but I'm a little worried about it I guess? Although I had fun wondering if my brothers and sisters were going to be a boy or a girl when my mom was expecting, we're not going to do a surprise. Nate really wants to find out because he likes gathering facts (in every aspect of life, not just baby) which is a good thing because sometimes I can blow right past important details. So we can find out now, if we want. But I'm just barely starting to feel ready to find out. I know it's going to become real once I know if he's really a he or a she, and I can't say I'm totally ready for that yet. It just doesn't seem real! I'm wondering when it will?!

16 week bump. It took both of us and a little bit of crying to get that stupid zipper to close.

First post - by A

Nate loves having his back scratched.
I am feeling sick.
We're having a little tiny baby in six months.
Glee is stupid but we like it anyway.
I want to live on a tropical island.
And have an unlimited shopping budget. Sigh.

This is a test post on this new blog